I hate country bars. Music's terrible. Conversation's piss poor. But they got women in this place and that's the bottom line. I need it bad tonight because last night was such a bummer. The girl was too damn short for me and it just didn't feel right with her clinging onto me...as she kept crying out, "I love you Dick I spy a tall blonde with great breasts. I can feel myself inside her already. She's mine. "She's not looking at me yet," I tell myself as I pull my shirt up a bit which exposes my magnificent chest. I tighten up my arms and watch the veins pop out in my forearms. I'm the shit. "How would you like to fall in love tonight?" I ask her.

Good line. I used to use--"Got a light?" but a lot of women don't like the smell of cigarettes on a man. Now I'll often get myself into a little sweat by exerting myself outside a bar before I walk in such as running around its parking lot a few times to give myself just the right amount of B.O. A lot of women love that smell. . Makes them think they're with a real man.

The band is playing "People looking for the wrong people in the wrong places" or something like that. Probably got the name wrong since I don't have a good memory. Killed too many brain cells from too much drinking but who gives a shit. Getting laid is what's important and it seems the more brain cells you kill the more women like you. Guess they just don't want anyone who's too smart.

We head out to the dance floor as her eyes melt into mine. Got her where I want her. Pulling her close to my chest she puts both arms around my neck as I feel those wondrous breasts jabbing into my well developed pecs."You have great breasts," I tell her. Undo a few buttons." She undoes her buttons as I rip my shirt open. You can often tell the age of a woman by her breasts if you know what you are doing. It's like counting the rings in a tree trunk. She's only around 21. Her nipples tell me that.

I"ve got a huge erection. Now a lot of you guys are going to pull away, embarrassed by that protruding thing between your legs, Don't make that mistake. And here's another one you can't afford to make. Don't come in your pants. Especially if you are wearing light colored pants or shorts. And don't wear boxer shorts. Wear tightly fitting jockey shorts. I remember back in college making out with a girl when I took her back to her dorm. Got too damn excited and coming into my pants I felt my semen dribbling down my leg. Then I looked down at her feet which were just inside mine and saw my sperm collecting on the tops of her feet.

"I want you real bad," I whisper into her ear back at the bar. She wants to have another drink but I've got the perfect line for that which I've been rehearsing for weeks. "Drinking will spoil everything." "I want to feel every nerve in my body wanting you. Don't want to miss your scent. This is our first time and I don't want it to be the last time. (here I lied because the next night I knew I'd probably be picking up someone else). For the first time in weeks I feel really alive. I want you. Let's blow this pop stand."

It worked. I took her to my car outside. I reach into the glove box and pull out a small bottle of pills. The girl notices me swallowing one of them, looks at me, then asks, "What are those?" "Mild pain killers," I tell her. She probably thinks they are drugs and wants some. An antidepressant, they don't take away a man's sex drive toning it down just the right amount. Gives me great staying power and they always keep me from coming in my pants. The problem is they take away from your initial hard on and you want the girl to feel your shaft up against her. You want her to feel it big and pulsating so there's no mistake what you are planning with her. So if you ever find any peter downer pills don't take them until an hour before you screw her.

Hand in hand we go into the bedroom. And that's another thing, when you've made the sale don't blow it. Fuck her as soon as you can. There will be plenty of time for talking later. Like after you've come six times and your rod feels spent and broken. The blonde takes her clothes off. I've got mine off in twenty seconds leaving my socks on. I mean.....who needs to take his socks off when the moment of truth arrives. She grabs my penis as soon as she sees me naked, she sits on the bed with her nipples hard just thinking about what's to come------me. And pulls me towards her, her eyes beckoning. It hurts and I have no choice. She's got a good grip on my shaft and I keep moving towards her. No choice at all since I will be disemboweled if I don't move in her direction.

She won't let go. Won't stop. I'd scream with the pain but I'm too much man for that. Then she lies down and spreads her legs pulling me by my organ right on top of her. Sticks it right in and starts squirming on the bed. "She's done this many times before, " I tell myself and the moment is so exhilarating with both the pain and the pleasure and the feel of her nipples throbbing in my chest so acute that if I were any other man I'd come as soon as I entered her. But I'm Dick Fitswell and I've got my ace in the hole working inside me. The Peter Downer pills.

"I'm not going to come," I'm thinking. She just doesn't know about those pills." She's got my shaft still between her fingers pressing tightly as it swells up. The pain is exquisite as she puts it inside her. Her legs go up around me as she holds herself tight. "Come Dick," she pants, begging for it." But I'm Dick Fitswell and my mind has suddenly become philosophical. I am not about to come. "How does this one feel?" I ask myself. "Wet and definitely loose. Not as tight as many I've had. Exciting gal. I'd be her slave if it wasn't for those pills. I would do anything she'd want me to do. If she wanted to ride me around the room like someone riding a dog, I'd submit to it----just to come in her mouth. She could whip me and have me bark. I'd do it." I had fucked lots of girls. Hundreds of them and I knew her kind. She wants to be in control. Time to turn the tables. Whimpering now-----"Why haven't you come yet," she just didn't get it. My turn.

"Hey baby. You have just started the night of your life. Do you know my full name?" I asked. "Dick," she screamed. Come into me. I want to feel your juices."

"Not on your life. Or at least not just yet. My full name is Dick Fitswell. And I want to really think about you, my being inside you. Let's feel this out together. See that bottle of tequila on the stand behind you? Keep me inside you and pour us two glasses of tequila. Never mind that there's no ice."

Somehow she was able to do it and with me still inside her. I felt her put the glass to my mouth as I started to drink the fiery liquid. Savoring the moment I calmly thought about how she fit around my shaft. "Not tight enough." Have to keep searching for the perfect fit. Normally I would have liked her, but I'm on the eternal quest and liking has nothing to do with it. It's all a matter of mechanics. Like two gears meshing together. Still.........she was there...so it was time to have fun. I'll worry about the next girl tomorrow night.

"I wish you would come," she replied.

"I will. But first you have to do exactly what I ask you to do."

Her nipples were long and hard as I lifted up my head to take one of them into my mouth. I would have come right there "They are perfect," I said to myself as it tightened up against my tongue. Gently sucking, then biting hard into it. Just enough to make her hurt until I heard her scream out...."Stop. You are hurting me." . Thrusting violently into her I watched her body jerk each time I pumped her. Her voice became a refrain, calling out to me----"Give it to me, baby. I want it deeper. Come into me."

"I can't come until you promise me something, then I'll give you what you want."

"Anything. I'll do anything," she screamed at me.

"Tomorrow night I want you to meet me at that bar again. Bring the most beautiful girl you know. Tomorrow night I want to fuck you both."

"Don't you want me?" she yelled.

"Sure I do," I lied. "More than anything in this world. But you won't believe how good it will be tomorrow night."

"Do I have to?" she pleaded.

"If you want me to come," you have to.

"Okay. Now give it to me. Give it to me right now."

My strokes now became slow and easy as I savored her wetness. I closed my eyes and started thinking about someone else. The perfect fit I had yet to meet. That is my mecca. My quest and when I find it I'll be in love.. With each thrust I became more like a machine. Riding her with my legs around her I shot into her----spasm after spasm----jetting right into her consciousness. In my head her screams just a background noise dimly heard, calling out to me It was only when I finished that I asked her, "What's your name?" "Gloria," she replied. "Good name," I answered. Just want to know who I'm fucking." Then I took her home. Let her walk herself to the door as I sat behind the wheel. "They don't like gentlemen anymore," I reflected calmly as I watched her let herself into her apartment. Won't respect a man who's a gentleman.