But fist, I want to list my credentials.  I'm the only guy in the  St. Louis area to write a novel about the St. Louis Metro East Clubs.  The novel is Death on the Wild Side. Since then I wrote and Published five more books.  And I got paid to shoot clubs with my hotel being part of the package.  Recent clients of mine have been Big Daddys Cabaret in Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri and the Club Maximus chain in Texas.  Last year alone I wrote for five adult magazines.  I have often shot Pure Talent Feature Showcases across the entire country, staying for days in the same hotels and motels with the feature entertainers who can number as many as 19 for a single showcase. 

The viewpoints you will find here are those of an adult industry professional who has the ear of some top notch club owners and feature entertainers as well as many other industry professionals.

First, if you really want to screw up, don't have a web site.  This will announce to the world at large that you are indeed a complete Neanderthal who is clueless about where the world is headed.  It will also be a tell tale sign that you are missing one of the greatest opportunities in your lifetime at successfully marketing your club.  Not having a web site in today's world is the kiss of death.  And you do not get a star from me if you don't have a web site.

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But once you have a web site, you are going to have to find ways of bringing people to that web site.  One of the best ways is to link to other adult web sites while requiring them to link back to you.  Believe it or not, I once e-mailed over 100 clubs explaining to them why linking to my site would be in their best interest as well as mine.  Not one of these clubs was receptive to doing a link exchange.  In fact six clubs advertised on their web sites that they were interested in doing link exchanges, but when it came time for them to link back to my site, they did not reciprocate, even after I called them several times. 

Meanwhile I've carefully built up my own two sites, Nirvana Publishing and Alpha Productions which comprise literally hundreds of web pages between them.  This gives me a vast number of multiple entry ways to my two domains with each entry way attracting people in via search engines, word of mouth and other avenues.  I also have been carefully building up link exchanges with club owners I do know, feature entertainers, and other adult sites.  Today I am getting well over 1000 hits a day on my web pages so by now I would think the name of Jack Corbett is pretty well established in adult entertainment circles. 

And still, I would be willing to bet that many club owners and even their web masters do not take seriously the absolute necessity for doing these link exchanges.  Which is too bad because this clearly establishes that both the club owners and their web masters have suffered from too much brain damage for far too long.   

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Third, keep your drink prices sky high.  This is why I use a benchmark figure of six bucks.  Anytime I find that a club starts its drink prices at six bucks or higher I not only refuse to give this club a star, I also highlight the club's drink prices by using a red font.

A club owner friend of mine was once general manager of a club that had just upped its beer prices to $5.50.  He told me:  "If I ever have a club, I'll reduce my beer prices to just three dollars.  This is utter insanity.  A man's gotta be crazy to pay these kinds of prices for beer."  The general manager wound up starting his own club and true to his word, he's got his beer and drink prices down to affordable levels.  As far as the decor of his club, it's up with the best that's out there. Anywhere. 

So all this crap about being a Gentlemens club as an excuse to keep one's drink prices too high is just a bunch of crap.  Same thing's true about excusing one's high drink prices on the location in which one is doing business--such as  "This is New York" or "This is Michigan.  Our costs of doing business are higher here".

And when I spot a club that really pisses me off I'll often mention it in the Jack Corbett Guide just so everyone reading it will know how badly they are being gouged.  Six bucks a drink?  New York clubs charging as much as $13.00?  Let's put this in perspective--a man can get laid in Thailand for just twelve and a half bucks and have his pick of all the girls along the beach for that.

There are other ways to recoup your costs.  Having high drink prices announces to the world at large that you are a greedy prick out to gouge your customers for all you can get.  If you can't make it on beer prices starting at less than six bucks, then you deserve to go out of business.

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Not having food is another mistake club owners often make.  And true enough, having the state health department breathing down your necks for opening a kitchen is no picnic.  But consider the alternatives.  Sooner or later your customers will go elsewhere once the old stomach starts rumbling and I don't care what kind of time they are having.  And when they leave they are not likely to return until another night.  Plus it creates a bad image of your club to your customers who are going to feel that you, Mr. Club Owner, don't care if they eat or go hungry and that you really don't give a damn if they go somewhere else.  By not looking after your customers by viewing them as welcome guests once again are creating the image of wanting to extract the last penny out of them without being willing to give back something in return.   So do something, even if it means only serving frozen pizza or allowing street vendors to barbeque brats and burghers outside in your parking lot.

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Bartenders and other club personnel stealing you blind?

It happens all the time.  We all know that the bar and food industry is constantly plagued by dishonest employees stealing from the till.  My first piece of advice is to go to seminars such as Exotic Dancer has at its annual Las Vegas expos.   Last year there was an excellent seminar on bartenders stealing from clubs.  Afterwards you could have even discussed with the speaker what kinds of things you need to be doing to keep such theft under control.  You can find out from other club owners what they are doing at such conventions.  Also keep in mind that people will often steal from their employers if they feel with some degree of justification that they are not being adequately compensated for what they do.  Club owners in general are notorious for trying to squeeze the last drop out of the people they hire.  So think about it--are you greedy in your dealings with your employees, and if so, don't you think that your very obvious display of greed is going to bring out the worse in them?

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And last but not least--keep your dicks in your pants.  Many club owners do and I've known many good managers that do as well.  But if you want to lose control of your club real fast, just start fucking your dancers, and while you are at it, allow your managers to start fucking them also.  Pretty soon your entire staff from your DJ's to your doormen and bouncers will be fucking the dancers and your club will soon go to hell and a hand basket because you, Mr. Club Owner, were to stupid to heed the old adage--"Do not shit where you eat."

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