Heaven who we met at the Stimmelators Gentlemen's Club in North Webster, Indiana has always been a one of a kind stripper. These are just a few of Heaven's Thoughts
I tried to warn you about messin around,
you didn't listen, so you fell to the ground.
The moon and the stars are up so high,
and beneath them I lie.
My heart is ripping,
while tears are dripping,
I listen to the winds lullaby.
You will always be my first love,
you are now above....
When I looked in your eyes, I knew it was true.
heart never lies- I was in love with you.
As you stood there just looking around,
my whole body melted into the ground.
I remember the day, I remember the time,
I remember the place, it is always on my mind.
You looked so good, in your shirt and jeans.
I remember that night, you were in my dreams.
I wish I could be with you day after day,
I love you more than words can say.
I'm frustrated because I can not tell if it's real,
frustrated because I don't know how you feel.
I'm frustrated because we did not talk last night,
frustrated because we can't make things right.
I'm frustrated because there is no trust,
frustrated because I know it's a must.
I'm frustrated because I need you night and day,
frustrated because I can't have things my way.
I'm frustrated because you don't want to take my hand,
frustrated because I can't get you to understand.
I'm frustrated because I can't feel your gentle touch,
frustrated because I miss you so much.
I'm frustrated because we can't be together ,
because I'll love you forever.
Heaven is a place that seems to be the answer to our dreams,
Heaven is a place we know that only the best of us go,
Heaven is a place of love that when given freely flows like a dove,
Heaven is a place that in the end we will all be together once again,
Even though you sit and cry, don't think of this as a goodbye,
For when the time comes, and surely will,
get to say I Love You Still..
Don't grieve for me for now I am free,
I'm following the path God laid for me.
I took his hand when I heard him call,
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day,
To laugh, to love, to work or play.
Task left undone will stay that way,
I found that peace at close of day.
If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh a kiss,
Ah yes, these things I, too, will miss.
But not burdened with times of sorrow,
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life has been full, I've savored so much,
Good friends, good times, a loved ones touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all to brief,
Lift up your hearts and share with me.
God wanted me now,
He set me free..
I am only six weeks old,
And I am developing quite well.
My mom just found out about me,
And she hopes I'll be male.
Now sixteen weeks have passed,
Since I was conceived.
I have my fingers and toes,
And suck my thumb as I please.
I've had a good start in life,
So far as I can see.
I know my eyes will be blue,
And brown is what my hair will be.
I know my mom will love me,
And I will love her too.
I just hope daddy will,
When she tells him the news.
At first she was real excited,
Until she told my dad.
Then all of the sudden,
She became very sad.
I don't know why,
I'm too young to understand.
But today I died,
In my mothers hand.
She signed a piece of paper,
And cried for a while.
Then the man killed me,
And put my record in a file.
Mommy please tell me,
What did I do wrong.
Why didn't you want me,
did I have to hurt so long?
I was just a little girl, too young to know.
Too young to understand, too young to show.
The feelings I had, when you left me.
The feelings so sad, why did this have to be.
Please tell my why, through all of those years.
You were not there, to wipe away my tears.
To give me a hug, and make me grin.
To give me a kiss, oh where have you been.
I dreamed every night, of how it would be.
To feel the comfort inside, of you holding me.
Please tell me what did I do...
What did I say...
Didn't you care that I loved you...
I make you go away?
As you raise up a boy, you must teach him many things.
To walk, to talk, to say bye bye,
To play, be strong, and never lie.
To be polite and say thank you,
To fold his socks and tie his shoes.
You hug and kiss and cuddle him so,
You pray your baby will never go.
He laughs and giggles, and play peekaboo,
You run and chase him, but there's so much to do.
In the evening you rock him and put him in bed,
Hoping he'll remember all those little thing you said,
I love you, you're a good boy, and never be sad.
When you grow up, be strong and brave like your dad,
Be wise, be caring and always be true,
Be gentle, be kind, and understanding too.
Be real, be proud of the man you became.
Be honest, be proud, don't others you blame.
A man must show feelings, tenderness and love,
Be courageous, be gentle, calm as a dove.
Remember the man I raised you to be,
Be true to yourself and others will see.
You don't have to be cold, hard hearted and mean,
A real man is cherished..every woman's dream.
You know it's funny how we think our life is so bad,
until we lose one of our love ones and then it is so sad.
We can make our lives easy or rough,
but then again losing someone is so tough.
Sometimes it hurts so bad, and all you can do is cry,
and we ask the lord again and again why...
Why did Grandpa, and Chris have to die?
The answers to our questions we may never know,
but in my heart I will never let you two go.
I love you both...
ABOUT IT ALL
My heart is breaking even now there's no use we even try.
I cried, I lied.. hell I almost died. I don't have a
reason but it is alright to say goodbye.. I sit here
watching you sleep, wish I could slip inside and be in
the same dream. But the air is too thick for one of us to
breath, and I am not fool enough to think you could not
live life without me. I didn't come this far to throw
in the towel, I didn't fight this hard to walk away.
If I ain't smart enough to say I am sorry, it's just
because the words got in the way. But I hated you the
night you told me you loved me, I hated you cause I
could not love myself. I am begging you know, baby
please hold me. I got one foot in and one foot off of
If I could I surely would, child ease your pain.
But if I could no longer, would you still know my name?
If I couldn't drink the tears, that pour from your eyes
Would you turn your back on me.. would you wave goodbye?
Or leave me way beyond empty inside, awaiting my last
day to arrive. If I be the shoulder, which your head
would rest upon, would you still be waiting or would
you be gone? If I couldn't keep the smile forever on
your face, would I still be around or would I be
replaced? Would you promise me that things would
stay the same. If I couldn't clear the clouds from
over your head, would you keep your word to me amongst
the things you said?
I went for a walk just to sort it all out... but even
in the shadows there's still a lot of doubt. As the sun
goes down the day fades so fast, all the memories
come rushing back from the past. And I see.....
you, staring back at me.
Tonight I stayed by the phone for hours in case you
called, but I never heard from you. And I'm glad I
didn't, because I would have taken you back no matter
what you had done. That's how badly I wanted you. I was
able to deny all the pain that you have caused me. My
heart wants to carry me to you, but my head is telling
me to stay away. I guess I let a romantic fantasy blind
me to the reality of life... You made me love you, I
didn't wanna do it. You made me feel blue, and all the
time I guess you knew it. You made me happy, and there
times you made me feel so sad.
Through the haze of my pain, I think back to that day.
End his life. Start to regain. Twist the love into hate.
Light is gone-- life is drained. Only agony remains.
Single thought remains. Destroy the one who caused my
pain. Carve his flesh, as I cry tears of joy, as he dies
Final stare from his eyes--I always knew his love was
There is no point in figuring out what I want since I
don't deserve it from anyone. And even if I did deserve it,
If you should go before me, walk slowly. Down the ways
of death, well worn and wide. For I would want to over
take you quickly, and seek the journeys end by
your side. I would be so forlorn not to deserve you.
Down some shining highroad when I come, so walk slowly
dear, and often look behind you, and pause to hear if
calls your name.
I love you for what you are, but I love you yet more
for what you are going to be. I love you not so much
for your realities, as for your ideals. I pray for your
desires that may be great, rather than for your
satisfactions, which may be so hazardously little.
A satisfied flower is one whose petals are about to
fall. The most beautiful rose is one who hardly more than
a bud, where in the pangs and ecstasies of desire are
working for larger and finer growth. Not always shall
you be what you re now, you are going forward toward
something great. I am on the way with you....
therefore I love you.
If he'd get off my back, I'd love him more.
If he would only change, I would be happy.
The only reason he is doing this is to destroy my
of mind. He wants to hurt me, and it is working.
If I do such, and so. This and that will happen.
If I am perfect, mommy will love me. If I do everything
exactly right daddy will notice me. If I can just
behave perfectly this won't happen. If I become more
fun to be with then daddy will stay home. If I can just
get thin enough, I will be happy and everyone will love
me. I know I can fix the past if I just try hard enough.
Mom will finally find something to like about me. If I
can somehow become loveable enough and successful
enough. Dads character and happiness are shaped by
others, therefore mine are too. If I can be the perfect
mate, I can fix my spouse. I can realize the failed
childhood fantasy . That if I were the perfect child I
fix my original family.
Put out my eyes, and I can see you still. Slam my ears
too, and I can hear you yet. And without any feet I
can go to you, and tongue less, I can conjure you at will
Break off my arms, I shall take hold of you, and grasp
you with my heart as with a hand. Arrest my heart, my
brain will beat as true, and if you set this brain of Living here far away, I am yours.
Living there far away, You are mine.
Love is not made of bodies only.
Deep in our hearts is where we are one.
afire, then on my blood I yet will carry you
It is marvelous to wake up together at the same minute
marvelous to hear the rain begin suddenly all over the
roof, to feel the air clear as if electricity had passed
through it from a black mesh of wires in the sky. All
over the roof the rain hisses and below the light
I like it when I am in my room preparing. Mother works
all day, and when she gets out she laughs alot. Some
mornings when it is dark, I sneak into bed with her. I
touch her face, and I get the feeling I touch her and I
Mother I feel the pain I have put upon you. I know
your tears so well, and one day you will be gone, and
I'll be here left alone. To only remember the pain I
put you through... I'm sorry.
Please forgive me for being untrue to you. There is no
need explaining now, it's all been said and done. You
will always be part of my past, and you will forever be
my future. There was so much missing between the two of
us, and you have filled all of those empty spaces. Im
sorry if I have caused you any pain, it's something I
wanted to do. That's why it was so hard to tell you
I feel as though it is over, when I look into your eyes
and do not see the love and care that used to take me by
surprise. The sweetness that you gave to me, was so
special and new. I realize that I could not see, what I
failed to give you. My regret is washed away by my
sorrow. My heart so heavily with pain. I wish the love I
see so clearly now, belong to us again
A candle burns at both ends, a fire racing flame. Mind
is cluttered full of lies, and all your answers sound
the same. I don't know what to think, to much is on my
mind. Nothing seems the way it should, and I'm running
out of time. The wick is disappearing, someone please
tell me what to do.. My mind tells me that it is over,
I'm still missing you.
We gaze at the stars, imaginary ones will do. Whatever
it takes to be with you. Wrapped in your arms , our
heartbeat combined. So close together our souls
intertwine. Together all night as one, that night may
be over, but we've just begun. My love for you grows,
with each passing day. I never thought it possible to
love this way. The dreaded day has come to say goodbye.
But our love will last, it is obvious why. Our love is
strong, and it will stay through the years, it will
shine through the laughter and brave through the tears.
It will live through all the good and bad. And remind us
each day of the blessing we had. You are gone now, but
remain in my soul, left with only thought of you. My
My love tank has been empty for many years. My mother
had provided for her physical needs but had not
realized the deep emotional struggle ragging inside me.
The emotional need for love, however it is not simply
a childhood phenomenon. The need follows us into
adulthood, and into marriage. After we come down from
the high of the in love obsession, the emotional need
for love resurfaces, because it is fundamental to our
nature. I thought my father left because he didn't love
me, and when my mother remarried. I felt she had
to love her, but I still had none to love me.
As I lie here alone tonight, I start to cry, you broke
my heart when you said goodbye, and left me here to die.
All I can do is ask myself why.. why did you have to lie
For all you have put me through my heart is still true,
I'll never understand why you do what you do. But I'll
be in love with you.
I gave you to many reasons to walk away. You know I
love you, but I just can't take this, so please listen
to me. I spent to much time thinking about myself,
never acknowledging your needs, how could I have been
There you stood right in before of me, and I never knew
Mr. Right was gonna be you. The painful memories of
my past shine through, and therefore I am not sure what
to do. So please be patient and hold on too.
As I lied there and cried you stuck your dick in my
ass and I almost died. My face I tried to hide. You
asked me if it hurt, and of course I lied, as you just
I see that she's not treating you right, I see the
tears you try to hide. She's making the same mistakes
I did. I promise I won't make those mistakes again, if
give me just one more chance
Can someone please tell me what love is... Is it the
tears that we all cry, the emptiness that we all feel...
Is it the pain that we all receive, the loneliness that
us want to die... That's what I think love is.
My world has ended, but yours keeps on spinning. My
life is over, yet you keep on living. My heart is broken
my hopes are gone, all I can do is cry. Yet you keep
going on. I drown in my sorrows, I'm in the pits of my
despair. All I need is a breath of fresh air. I fight
for what is left of my pitiful life, but it doesn't
matter. I don't have an ounce of pride left. I need you
know, I needed you then, help me, lend out your hand.
It's to late, I've fallen to far into the misery of my
You came and left without a warning, all at once I
looked and you were gone, and now your looking back at
me searching for a way that we can be like we were before
Now I'm back to what I knew before you, and my life
doesn't look the same. There's only so much I can say, so
please don't run away from what we have together. No
matter what I say to make you understand, it's all up to
you take the future in your hands... So please don't
keep me waiting. No one ever told me that every moment
without you would seem so long. I get so lonely and my
night have been so cold without you. Did I go and make
believe the way you held me. Was it real or just a game
mind was playing on me?
God I'm going crazy, I can't get you out of my head.
My mind keeps recalling all of these memories. There's
just so much that I am feeling right now. You know it
hurts to hold on, and hurts even more to let go. I
remember all of the little thing, they mean the most.
it brings a smile to my face.
I'm so deliberate because I am aware of how in the past
I would get sucked up and lose my sense of myself. If
everything you are is based on a relationship, and it
falls apart, you lose everything. The pain of being
involved with someone for a long time and then losing
them, and not having a sense of yourself left is awful.
why it would take me so long to rebuild
I seen you the other day hand in hand with her, you
looked at me and smiled. Right there and then I could
feel my heart breaking once again. As I lie here in our
lonely bed. I picture you holding her close, loving her
the way you did me. I awake in the middle of the night
reaching out for you, but your not there, As I start to
cry all our memories come back to me. I call your
number just to hear your voice, I sometimes wonder if
you do the same. How can I get it through to you, it's
me you love. So please come back. I can't imagine the
of my life without you.
My heart has been broken to many times. I find it so
hard to love anymore. I'm not even sure I know what
Does it make you feel good to see me in pain, to see
me cry, to beg you to come back to me, to do as you say.
I can't do it anymore. I know I've said it before, but
coming back for more....why.
My love for you is strong, so hard to hide and so hard
to let go. My pain builds inside me slowly to break me
down. The walls will someday fall, my heart to be lost
forever. Where to turn which road is right for love,
I ever know
The time had come we both said goodbye, we agreed that
we both gave it our best try. As our hearts are left to
die, as we ask one another why We both went a little crazy, we both did each other
wrong. I don't think it's to late baby, I don't think
that all hope is gone. It'd be easy to say it doesn't
matter, to walk away and wish you the best. But I know
we would feel a whole lot better, if we tried a little
tenderness. Let's put our differences aside, we can make
it, you and I. Let's give it one more try, we can't
let this thing die. Can't we give it one
How can you feel alone at night, even when I am by your
side. Can you hear me laughing in the wind, does it ease
your mind. If you ever see me again, I will always be
your friend, Like an angels heart, I'll blend within the
We lead to different lives, just like to lines that
never cross. I watch you coming to me, walking in the
pouring rain. I can't help looking at you, wishing I
could stay away. I can't help thinking, when I look into
eyes... How much I need you, it's so hard to hide.
Shattered dreams an memories of you, left hanging over
me. A cross to bear, when love cools. A crown of thorns
the queen of fools.
Every night without you is more than I can bear,
moonlight can be torture when your love isn't there.
you in the shadows, I can hear you in the wind.
When you came walking in, I went crazy, wondering where
had been, I think maybe I just fell in love again.
Be still my heart just hush, I'll get rid of this big
bad crush. If only you knew how much I cared, the kind
of love I have for you is rare. You don't even know my
hearts on fire, you're the one that I desire. I dream of
kissing your sweet lips, but when I awake away you slip.
I wish I could tell you how I feel, then your touches
I wouldn't have to steal. You would be mine, I wouldn't
have to dream. I could be with you always, I wouldn't
have to scheme. This secret is so hard to keep, into my
it etched so deep.
The world is crowded with people, but in my heart, it's
as empty as a desert. There are two paths you can go
by, but in the long run, there's still time to change
road you are on. Here's my heart don't break it...
One by one i locked each door, and soon forgot what love
was for, but i never gave up hoping'. so I left just one
open in case you found me....
Have you ever had one of those nights when you just lie
awake. staring at the ceiling, until the dawn breaks...
If you heard goodbye and something inside won't heal,
if a memory won't sett you free, and you know it never
you know how I feel...
Many times I have tried to tell you the things I have
done, but when I think how it would hurt you
somehow the words don't come. I just can't risk tearing
us apart. so the truth will always be buried in my
You left without saying "I love you", and that makes
3 days in a row. now that you are tired of pretending
it time that I let you know. there must be a better way
of saying it's over, where nobody walks away with tears
in their eyes. when I think of you I'll remember how
you looked at me when we met... but the way you are
at me now, I'll do my best to forget
I don't believe that we are through, I don't believe
that it is over, lets forget who is right or wrong,
and remember we belong together. lets forgive and
forget and start over. we all make mistakes now and
then, I don't want to love another, I just want to
I see your eyes, and my soul dances. Wondering if you
will ever take a chances on such a whimsical love.
Still I hold hope I might one day look into those eyes
again, and not just a picture that does portray the
beauty and softness of your skin. To see you and touch
you, and hold your hand perhaps to steal a kiss. A
it out across the land that you're the one I miss.
Your eyes so shiny and bright, and your tongue gives
me such delight. You above me is such a wonderful sight,
and when you enter me my head becomes light. With you
is no struggle or fight, because you fit so right.
My heart is full of pain, I just don't know how to get
you back. There's so much we have been through, how can
you just forget about it all... I can't. Everyday there
is something knew, that brings those memories back.
We've been through this time and time again, but we have
always worked things out, what's so different this time?
you to much to let you go this easily.
When I seen you there holding her close, all I could do
was stand there, as my eyes filled with tears. You
looked so in love, so happy like we used to be. I can't
believe we drifted so far apart. So there's nothing left
anymore, it's time to say goodbye. I'll never forget
I love you
Change will come, change is here.
Love fades out, then love appears.
Change has been, change will be.
will tell, then time will ease
I'll never love anyone as much as I loved him, he will
forever be in control of my heart. I have built my world
around him, and without him I struggle to go on. He has
hurt me over and over again, but it has only made my
heart grow stronger, and fall deeper and deeper in love.
him I will forever love.
You could have given me a million reasons why, but it
wouldn't change a thing. You said it all when you chose
her. I am spending my time alone, trying to forget the
memories, forget I love you, forget that you chose her
Where's my Daddy, I wonder all of the time. Someone
please tell me where is that Daddy of mine. Daddy if
you're out there, there's something I must know...
do you love me, and where did you go.
He who knows nothing, loves nothing. He who can do
nothing, understands nothing. He who understands nothing
worthless. But he who understands also loves
You broke my heart when you would say goodbye, and
drive away leaving me there to cry. I though the world
of you, I defended you to the end, and this is what you
put me through. I waited so long for you to come back
for me, all you wanted was to be free. Well Daddy you
got what you asked for. Now I know you don't love me
anymore. I'm a big girl now. I should be able to deal
this, but it is you Daddy I have always missed.
If one could stop time, or make it up. If two could
realize the best of luck. If I could locate a God above,
and you only wanted to be loved, then I would try to
hold on to the past. But you know that nothing lasts.
It's time to move on and let the past go, I waited here
for you, but you never showed. I have tried to hold on
to the past, but I couldn't keep my grasp, cause nothing
Once a relationship is attainable I don't want it.
Maybe it's just the challenge I want. It's as if I am
saying...I can have him, so I don't want him. I'll find
else I can't have.
We agreed that things were through, we both had found
someone new. I thought that I would always love you, I
guess that my heart wasn't true. But to love you again
Love's an emotion to be shared between two, not a game
where the winner is you. If you ever loved me, I never
really knew. But it doesn't matter now because we
You said you'd never break my heart again, so we gave
it one more try. You hurt me so bad I wanted to die.
nothing left between us, as I lie here and cry.
Lets take our time, love last forever, over and over
we'll love together. Kiss me hold me tight, and lets
get wet tonight. Happiness is pleasing you. Hold me and
my body. Only you can make me....you know.
Jealousy laced with hate, enemies on all sides. I can
see no end to this confusion, fear in their eyes,
alone I must die....
Sympathy my ears will never hear you. Misery you are
mine. Love is free, a lie. On my knees, fuck this life,
alone I must die....
thought I was insane, because I wanted to die.
Every little picture hanging on the wall, every little
trace of you I have found them all. I close my eyes,
it's all I can do. Every where I look I see some part
I would of done so much for him, but he didn't care. He
meant the world to me, but was never there. I gave so
much to make it work, but he didn't even try. Now my
world is falling apart, since he said goodbye. He has
is eye on someone new, he treats her very good. I can't
help but wonder why, he didn't treat me like he should.
Now I have a broken heart, that maybe time will heal. I
wish I had another chance, to tell him how I feel. Now
I sit here lonely, with no-one to love. Not just anyone
do, when it's you I'm thinking of.
As I sit here thinking of you, I think of those eyes so
shiny and blue, your touch so soft, your words so kind,
and these things of yours are no longer mine. The days
together, the nights alone, I loved you before, and
always will. Wouldn't it be perfect is you loved me
You gave me forgiveness, but could not forget. No I
should have never told you, what I will live to regret.
The truth lies between us, and I can't take it back.
Here I am, there you are, we're so far apart. Let's
pretend that I have never been in his arms, in his
Can't we just start all over again?
I'm bursting with emotion, and I don't know what to do.
My heart feels torn in many ways, and it's all because
of you. Each night I lie in bed to sleep, but all I do
is cry. You've hurt me in so many ways, I feel like I
could die. My hopes my dreams, my happy thoughts, they
have all faded away. And everything would be different
now, if only you would stay. I used to trust so easily,
but you made me disappear. When you left you took my
heart, now all I feel is fear. I fear that I might once
again, be caught in someone else's trap, and in the end
alone again. Someday I hope to love again, someone
who'll always be there. But for now I can't help but
oh why couldn't you just care.
He knew how to reach me deep inside, and he found part
of me I could not hide. And we'd walk and talk, and
touch tenderly. Then he'd lay me down, and make love to
me. We built a love so strong it could not break, there
not a road we were not afraid to take.
My knees start to shake, when your in sight. My minds
filled with wonder, and my heart with fright. When will
this feeling stop...when did it start? How can I listen
to my mind, without breaking my heart. I am so confused
What should I do? I can't think of anything except you.
Should I ignore you, or just give this time? I can't
straight, my heart controls my mind.
I lie in a pile of daisies, thinking of you. I pull one
out and hold it close to my heart, wishing you were here
The flower delicately touch my face, and the cool breeze
feels good in the warm sun. I pull a petal, I whisper
into the wind, "he loves me'. I lay the flower on the
ground, not wanting to pull another. I knew.....
only important thing is....I love you.
The good times I smiled, the bad I cried. There was so
much to learn, and so much more you would hide. I
thought I loved you, I thought it was you I could
confide. I let my walls down easy, and opened my heart
wide. To a fantasy, a make believe dream, because you
I'm not saying I have all of the answers, and I don't
care who is right or wrong. I'm trying to pick up the
pieces already fallen, and put them back where they
belong. We've slammed every door in anger, and we've
opened wounds we can't mend. And one night lonely is
one too many. Don't want to wake up to one more night
that won't end. When late nights and long lies came
knocken, you'd just invite them in. And our voices got
too loud for talkin, and my heart hits the floor, but
you kept walkin. If cryin is the only way you hear, me
hurting for the love that I can't live without. If love
ain't the only way into your heart, then leaving is my
only way out.
The words I feel I need to say could
never really express the words I feel deep inside of me. You are
such a true angel, and I noticed you are shining brighter and brighter
each and every time I see you. And if I had to the past all over again,
I wouldn't give up those years with you, I see now only the good times.
All the times you made me laugh myself to tears and all the times you made
me cry with happiness from something nice you did for me. And I know I
loved you so deeply, or I wouldn't have felt my heart truly breaking
during the sad times. But now are paths are going separate ways, and sometimes
it is so hard for me to be "me" without you. To depend on me, to take care
of me, to take care of my life, to love myself, and just get to know me
and whoever I am. Because you did such a good job doing all those things
for me. You didn't do anything wrong, I see that now. You only loved me,
had faith in me, you believed in me when I couldn't. You did everything
you could for me so I could see who I truly am. You saw it, but couldn't
see it because of my own lack of self worth. You were only teaching me
from the very beginning to stand up for me and who I am. But I want you
to know that I love you because you loved me when I was not only happy,
alive and well, and full of life, but also when I was sad, sick, and depressed...
And my only desire for you is for you to be truly happy, and to be loved
and feel loved as the truly special angel from heaven you are. I will
always love you in this life and all of other lives, as my best friend,
my companion, my knight in shining armor, my love, and my true soul mate.
And these words are not to keep you chained to me, but to set you free.
For I know that in this life and all our lives past I know we have had
together, that only the love was real. All the rest was just an illusion
to perfect ourselves for our last life together...to be together , forever,
on earth, just as we are in heaven.
Love is a feeling beyond expression.
It is a deep tug at your heart when you are not looking. Love cries, it
bleeds, it hurts, it tears your would apart. But if you follow the path,
love can lead you beyond your dreams. It takes your heart to levels never
before experienced. Love thrusts you into the arms of another, creating
a fantasy surrounding you while you try to figure it out. Go ahead, ponder
it, concentrate it, try to explain it. You can't...Love is love.
It can't be described, explained, or given in a box. But when you have it,
you know it. It is safety, honesty, loyalty, and friendship.
Love makes you cry when you sleep alone. Love has more power then any one thing in the world.
Love... find it, accept it, feel it, realize it. All else will fall
I miss you, I know that we've said our goodbyes, And I know that we have gone our separate ways, But I still miss you. I wish that people were like chalkboards, and we could wash our memories clean. But were not, and we can't. Yet despite the anger that I feel sometimes, I still miss you. We were happy once, and I remember those times. I remembered how we smiled and laughed, and how you held my heart in your hand. I remember the tears and the fights, and how I took my heart back, bruised and slightly wilted. But still somehow, I still miss you.
When I think of you I think of tear stained pillows,
up for hours talking to you on the phone,
to work out our problems without really TRYING,
just wish it would all go away"
I could hurt you half as much as you had hurt me...
I still cried for weeks when we finally parted ways.
was it about your crocodile tears,
made me think I was so helpless and could not survive without you?
I know that I will survive,
you never deserved me anyway.
deserve someone that will be as heartless and insensitive as you.
think that I confused you with someone else that day that I fell so hard.
you are the one that needs to move on,
I am too far past your lying eyes to care about whatever words you have left to
no turning back now...
And no we can't be friends.
of love and memories of pain,
of you sayin nothing would change.
lost forever and time I cannot get back.
the promise you make you can't change that.
lost and lover that's gone.
I'm left to live my life all alone.
in goodbye and pain in my heart,
goodbye to you is slowly tearing me
hope in tomorrow and no hope in today,
but emptiness since you went away.
on stars wishing in vain,
why my love for you still remains.
in the dumps down in despair,
that I know you will no longer be there.
all faith losing my mind,
you even more with the passing time.
you made and promises unkept,
there's no more promises now that you've left.
in my eyes tears on my face,
to be held once again in your embrace.
of you pictures of me,
of how we used to be,
were through and knowing were done,
stare out the window in a solemn state,
if you had really loved me,
if it was too late.
knew that I needed you,
you could not take that chance.
knew that I really loved you,
you just let time pass.
the days you didn't need me,
it made my heart weep.
Unable to sleep.
was once a day, where I wanted you.
were days where I needed you to want me too.
knew I hurt you, just like I have done so many times before,
often wonder how many times you'll forgive me, before you walk out the door.
can't tell you how sorry I am, I don't mean for things like this to take place.
don't know the pain I feel too, when
see that hurt upon your face.
there were things that you did too, I wasn't the only one.
also hurt me pretty bad, when all was said and done.
may think that I am childish, but you don't really know the facts.
have my reasons for what I do, and I have my reasons for the way I act.
have to accept me for who I am, and loving you is part of me.
My friendship and love go hand in hand, but only time can make you see.
do you love me, do you truly care?
can you hear me, why aren't you ever there.
do you miss me, do you see we've grown apart.
you walked away that night, you took away my heart.
do you remember, when I was still your child?
cared for me and loved me, with hands so strong and mild.
did I cause it, did I make you go away?
don't you love me now, why did you not stay?
I'm sorry that you left me, but I did not get to choose.
must life be so hard, why must I always lose?
do you think of me, as the years pass slowly by?
you ever sorry, do you ever cry?
hope you feel the hurting, because I have felt the pain.
I can no longer call you Daddy, because Daddy's not your name.
was growing up I never did fear,
there may come a day my sister's weren't there.
we were children there was a bond that grew,
did not realize then what that bond would bring us through.
we became teenagers only interested in boys,
when we left behind all of our childhood toys.
oldest sister had a child of her own,
made me feel sad and terribly alone.
other sisters tried to give me advice,
made my own choices and paid the price.
fear of growing up, the fighting, and tears,
us all together for many years.
we were all married and went our own way,
with our own children day after day.
the bond between us began to break,
left all of us with terrible heartache.
many years so much love that has passed,
God bring us together and make it last.
will leave with a huge hole in my heart,
I know my sisters and I will be apart.
sisters forgive me for all I have done wrong,
love you my sisters and because of that we must be strong.
took for granted all the times we have had,
please my sisters don't be sad.
will walk as children together to Heaven above,
nothing will ever tear apart our love.
my sisters you know how I feel,
will always be together
it's Gods will.
posted in the Lost Angels chat on September 26, 2000
As posted in the Lost Angels chat on September 26, 2000