Dick Fitswell meets Howie the Duck
by Jack Corbett

"What do you mean, hope for the best?" Dick Fitswell asked the doctor. "It has to work. I won’t be a man without my penis being fully functional at its 15 inch limit." Dick Fitswell studied Dr. Kwan, carefully noting her slender build, long raven hair, and ferret like eyes behind glasses that gave her a studious look. "She’d be a goer alright. With the right man plugged into her," Dick Fitswell noted.

"I need a few weeks with you," Dr. Kwan said. Months perhaps. It all depends. You might get it up again. Then again, you might not. That’s going to be determined by the success of my psychological therapy."

"That’s going to depend upon whether or not you take your clothes off, what’s underneath, and how you use it," said Dick Fitswell.

"Enough," Dr. Kwan announced. Then turning to Dick Fitswell’s doctor said, "Dr. Peters, I need to be alone with Mr. Fitswell in order to conduct my first psychological examination of his condition."

After Dr. Peters left Fitswell’s bedside, Dr. Kwan pushed a button. Two large robotic hands of polished aluminum retracted from the hospital bed, snaked around Fitswell’s arms, found his wrists  and clamped around them as two other mechanical hands grabbed Fitswell’s ankles. Fitswell couldn’t move. Dr. Kwan carefully removed the plastic bag that the hospital used for IV liquids and fastened a new bag to the apparatus.

"Don’t worry Mr. Fitswell. It’s only Sodium Pentothal mixed with a sedative," she said gently as she jabbed the IV needle into a vein in his wrist. You will tell me in time everything I need to know. The Nazis called this truth serum but our stuff is even better. You are going to tell me about your childhood, what kind of women you like, what turns you on the most, how, when, and how many times you masturbate and what your biggest sexual hang-ups are"

Within fifteen minutes, Dick Fitswell was reduced to a very calm and almost comatose sack of human jelly as the IV started to work its magic. Dr. Kwan moved over close to Dick Fitswell’s face, then said: "Mr. Fitswell, I believe you had your first sexual experience in your early teens. Tell me about it. How did it happen?"

Dick Fitswell felt very tired. Dr. Kwan’s voice was deep and resonant, barely feminine at all. He could not lie to it, believing that if he did he would never be able to go to sleep again. "I was eleven," Dick Fitswell started off. "I lived on a farm in West Virginia. My father had a still on our farm and we didn’t have many neighbors then."

"Please go on," said Dr. Kwan. "I am very interested."

The nearest city of any size was over fifty miles away. The nearest town was seven miles from where we lived. That is where I went to school. My Dad didn’t believe in having a television set. There really wasn’t much to do on that farm. Until that afternoon when we finished bailing hay. Being only eleven, my dad didn’t expect me to put in a full day’s work. Not even close. It was a hot afternoon and I had gotten pretty tired. There was a pond not far from that alfalfa field where we were bailing so I just went over there to cool off and get a little rest. And that’s where I saw that damn duck."

"What duck?" asked the psychiatrist.

"Howie the Duck. The same duck who became famous."

"I do not understand," Dr. Kwan replied.

"I went to the pond but started to take a little nap before going into the water. Suddenly I woke up. At first it seemed as if I was dreaming. There was this big duck and it was fucking all the female ducks. I watched it fuck one, then another, until finally it had fucked ten female ducks in a row. Then it looked back at me. And the duck said: "You haven’t seen nothing yet. Watch this." That duck started to fuck another duck, then pulled out and started giving it to another one. Then it flew off a short distance and brought two more female ducks with it. I swear that duck lined those four female ducks up and kept going from one to another until it had fucked them all."

"Sounds like he was a very special duck to me," said Dr. Kwan.

Dick Fitswell continued. "Suddenly all the ducks disappeared. But the next day I went out into the chicken coop to get some freshly laid eggs. And that duck was in there fucking all the female chickens. But that’s not the half of it. After I watched it fuck over half a dozen chickens, the duck turned around to me and said, "Dick, want some?"

I said: "Want what?"

And the duck replied: "A nice juicy chicken around your meat. See if you can make one of them squawk."

"No thanks," I told that duck. "My Dad might find out and then with my luck he’d probably make me eat the chicken."

"I saw the duck again the next day. We had this large mongrel dog. Half German shepherd. I heard my dog outside the farm house squealing as if it was in pain so I went outside and there was that duck again, fucking our dog."

"Then what happened?" asked the doctor.

"Damn if that duck didn’t get off that dog when he got finished, came up to me, and said: "Sorry I haven’t introduced myself properly to you yet, Dick. Name’s Howie. Howie the Fuck. That's what a lot of barnyard animals call me."

"My name is Dick Fitwell," I relied to that duck. "But my daddy calls me Dickie."

"Well Dickie. Why don’t you just follow me to that pond. There’s something there that I think you will really like."

"What? Please tell me," I replied.

"The most beautiful thing on earth. Trust me," Howie said as he gave me the most benevolent smile that I’ve seen on either man or beast."

"So what did you find in the pond?" asked Dr. Kwan.

"There were two swans. Both female. Howie approached one of them as he looked back at me with a mischievous grin, then said, "I’ve got this one. You can take the other. I’ve left you with the prettier of the two."

"I watched Howie stick it in the swan. She tried to get away but Howard held her tight. Then the swan, which was much larger than Howie, tried to fly off with Howie still stuck in her. That damn duck just swatted that swan right across the face. Really smacked her good which made her immediately calm down so Howie could finish fucking her. But before he finished he looked at me again and said: "Whenever you are dealing with a female let her know who’s boss right away."

Then Howie got off the swan, looked at me and said: "Your turn Dickie. Let’s see what you’ve got."

"So did you do it?" Dr. Kwan asked.

"I sure did. After all, I had watched Howie fuck enough animals. By then I knew exactly what to do. I just pulled my pants off and snuck up on the other swan. Then I grabbed her around the throat and just stuck it in her. It took me awhile to get hard but I somehow managed to get it shoved in just part way. That swan was ready."

"What was it like?"

"She was tight. I think I hurt her a lot. As I said, I got it in just part way and then the swan started to struggle. She started flapping her wings and about beat me to death but the more she struggled the harder I got. It was exciting. Damn exciting. When it was all over I was black and blue all over but I managed to ejaculate into that swan in the end. Made me feel like a real man."

"I’m surprised you didn’t get killed."

"I almost was which added still to the excitement. After awhile the swan started to fly away. Here I was stuck deep into that swan and she started to take off. Which really got my dick swelling. She started to fly across the pond low over the water. I just hung on as I continued to pump her. We must have gotten around half-way across when I came. I was only a little boy then. No where near the man I am now. I had no staying power so as soon as I came I started to get soft. So my dick came out and I just kind of fell off—right into the water."

"So you didn’t get hurt other than black and blue?"

"No. It was great. Tightest fit I ever had. And when I fell into the water I just swam to shore. Didn’t even have to clean my dick off. The water did it for me."

"What happened to Howie?"

"He waited for me with a big grin on his face. Then he took me out drinking."