Dick Fitswell meets the socialized Canadian Health Care System
by Jack Corbett

"I need a fucking nurse," Fitswell screamed, hoping someone would hear him. "My dick is hurting." But no one came. The persistent throbbing in his scrotum had gotten worse. Fitswell looked around the room nervously for a button he could push to ring a nurse. Instead he saw a strip of cloth that had been glued to the little dresser next to his bed. On it someone had scrawled with a magic marker-------"Your nurse is Eskola. To be serviced please ring the bell on top of the dresser." And there it was. A bell for ringing the nurse. But it was one of those cow bells one used to find in old barnyards.

"Unfucking unbelievable," Fitswell muttered to himself, as he rang the bell.  Within five minutes his nurse appeared. It was the Eskimo woman he had followed back to her igloo. The same one who had sicced Polarina upon him--the same one who was responsible for the sickening pain he was now feeling in his testicles.

The woman recognized him immediately and started to grin. He had not noticed it in the darkness of the bar or the gloomy recesses of her igloo but she was missing some of her front teeth which made her look like an overgrown wood chuck when she smiled. Then he noticed that she was still wearing the same fur hat she was wearing when he first met her in the bar.

"Oh shit," he whispered to himself. "Now I’ve really got to get back to the United States."

"Whatever you are thinking, stop thinking it," said the nurse, as if she could read his thoughts. "You are mine. As long as you are here. If you ever get out of here that is."

"I want a doctor," Fitswell said. "I have a right to see a doctor."

"Very well. I’ll get you one right away," the nurse replied as she hurried out of the room. But not for long. Within two minutes she came back followed by a thick set middle aged man wearing his Canadian Mountie uniform.

"Dick Fitswell," I want you to meet your doctor, Doctor Plummer. He specializes in Penises and is very interested in yours."

"Why is he so interested in me?" Dick asked.

"You’ve made quite a reputation for yourself my boy. Not only in the United States but even up here in Canada. You are the one and only Dick Fitswell, aren’t you? The man with the twelve inch schlong who’s out for the perfect fit."

"Yes. I have to admit," Dick replied. "I am God’s gift to women."

"Correction," the Doc replied. "Was."

"What do you mean was?" Dick asked anxiously.

"What the Doctor means," said Eskola, "Is that since you were raped by Polarina you have suffered some severe injuries. Your once twelve inch penis is now only nine and a half inches long. But it gets worse. You have been severely bruised and the doctor thinks the bruising’s permanent. Your sex drive’s never going to be the same again."

"Bullshit," Fitswell screamed at them. "I am Dick Fitswell and my life’s ambition is to find the perfect fit. Nothing’s going to stop me."

"That’s the whole point," the doctor replied for the first time raising his voice. "You will be stopped. I have discussed the whole situation with the other doctors in this hospital and they’ve taken the matter up with the state department. The word’s come down from the Prime Minister himself."

"What do you mean, the word’s come down from the Prime Minister himself?" Fitswell shot back. I want safe asylum to the American embassy."

"Too late for that, Dick," said the Doc. "You have been declared a national health care risk. We will have to operate."

"Operation! I don’t need an operation. I need to get out of this Canadian hell hole."

"You can yell and scream all you want. No you can’t," the doc contradicted himself. "Nurse...give him a taste of the taser."

Eskola pulled the battery operated taser gun out of the little holster she was wearing on her belt, jerked open Fitswell’s hospital gown, and thrust its tip against his upper thigh as she squeezed the trigger. Fitswell felt the shock immediately as his body recoiled. But Eskola held the tip relentlessly against his thigh as she glared down at him maliciously. She pulled away from him at the last moment just as she sensed he was about to pass out. Fitswell just lay there shaking. Gradually his mind started to focus. What it focused upon was the Doctor’s face leaning close to his. He saw the doctor’s mouth move. Then he heard the words.

"The average Canadian male has a penis that’s five inches long. The Prime Minister has ruled that yours constitutes a national security risk since if you become even more well known here, all our women will want you. A lot of them will fuck you and you will no doubt get some of them pregnant. The effect of your genes being carried by Canadian children is unknown. His advisers think that the long term effect will be to increase the size of Canadian men’s penises and the long term consequences of that are unknown. Therefore something to avoid. So tonight I am going to operate on you. You will end up having a dick that is exactly five inches long."

"I will kill you then," Dick Fitswell yelled at the doctor. "I will hunt you down. You can never hide from the Fitz."

"The hell I can’t. First, you will be deported back to the United States. But before I’m done with you I’m going to burn a little brand into your forehead. LP. Stands for Little Penis. If you ever try to get back into our country they will see this brand on your forehead and not allow you across the border, and if you get across the border, everyone will be alerted. You will be found, caught, and executed."

Then the doctor stomped out of the room followed by his nurse, who kept looking back at Fitswell with a knowing smile. Shaken by the news and feeling weakened by the electricity that had recently surged throughout his body, Fitswell passed out. Then.....he started to feel someone warm lying up against him.

"How long have I been asleep?" Fitswell asked.

"Only a half hour," Eskola replied.

"What are you doing here?"

"I’m here because I want you to fuck me."

"Fuck you? Why?"

"Because you still have nine and a half inches. I’ve never gotten nine and a half inches rammed up me before."

The half hour’s sleep had eaten away at the rage Dick had been feeling. Eskola’s warm body lying up against him had already gotten him partially erect. Suddenly the thought of having his penis reduced to only 5 inches seemed far off in the future. Putting his hands between Eskola’s legs he pried her knees apart as she pulled on his penis. Within seconds he was inside her as she thrashed around on the bed.

"Stick it in deeper," she yelled out at him. I want every inch. Five inches were never enough."

Egged on by the excited Eskimo now attached to him by his long shaft Dick crushed his body deeper into hers, somehow finding an extra inch or two. And for his efforts was rewarded with her screaming: "I feel impaled. Dick dismember me with that penis of your. Spread me wide."

And so it went. He pulsed and she throbbed. He got light headed and she fell instantly in love. And finally the inevitable occurred. The sperm bank erupted as he came jetting what seemed to be endless spurts of the finest juices that she had ever felt bursting in her box. When it was over, Eskola put her cheek up next to his and started to cry. Fitswell let her tears run down his chin as he started to contemplate what life would be like wearing only a five inch dick. Then she left him as she went on her rounds to see her other patients. An hour later she came back but this time she brought the doctor with her.

"Okay Dick. Your time has come. Now we are going to make you into Dickie," the doctor said coldly. Then turning to Eskola said----"Okay babe. Secure him so he can’t move."

There was a button on the side of the hospital bed that Fitswell had never seen before. Eskola bent over him, and pushed it in. Suddenly he felt his arms and legs being seized. Steel spring like arms sprung from the bed, grasped his legs and tightened spreading his legs wide. At the same time another pair of mechanical arms found his wrists, clamped hard onto them, then pulled his arms down across the bed so that he resembled a man being crucified in the horizontal position.

"Okay, Eskola. We got him where we want him. Now pull his pants off and hold his balls while I inject them full of pain killer."

"What! You aren’t going to put me asleep first?" Dick yelled. "Why you fat little prick," he told the Doc as Eskola removed his pants which left his privates in full view.

And then Dick Fitswell saw truth for the first time in his life as Eskola kneeled over him with the syringes. Truth was the sharp edged knives and other surgical instruments the Doctor started laying on his chest. No way out. He would have to watch the whole procedure. His own blood spilling out of hit penis and sack. The amputation of his beloved stalk. The removal of the head of his penis, then watching the Doc sew it back onto his shortened shaft. Horror of all horrors to have to watch his own dismemberment. Even worse....he could never be Dick Fitswell again.