Dick Fitswell's Religious Conversion
by Jack Corbett

Since moving into the igloo with Eskola, Dick Fitswell’s penis had gotten a half inch longer. Dick attributed its new lease on life to a steady diet of fucking her four times a day. He had only been there for three days. Fucking her twice that afternoon Dick excused himself in the middle of dinner with that excuse that never seemed to fail him in the past......"Honey. I’ve got diarrhea. I’ll be right back."  Perched on the toilet seat like an ostrich in heat Dick reached into his boot for the measuring tape he always carried with him. Then he lay back and started thinking about some of the women he had reamed during the past year. Eskola’s image never came up as he started to get hard. Then, satisfied with his erection Dick pulled the tape out, laying one end along the tip of his penis as he pulled the tape out to the base of his scrotum.

"Ten and an eight inches long," he gloated. "In a few days I’ll be normal again. I think I’ll fuck her again tonight."

Which he did but Dick Fitwell never regained his full length in that igloo. Polarina’s dead body started to stink and the next night Eskola remarked as they sat around the fire together, "What’s that smell?" To which Dick answered, "It’s nothing babe. That used to be a song is all." But he knew that Polarina would soon start to reek and that Eskola would find her–possibly as early as the next day.

That night Dick Fitswell waited until Eskola fell sound asleep, then sneaked out of the igloo and started to hike into Dawson. As soon as he got into town he saw the train that would leave at six AM. It was now 2 AM which meant the train would remain there another four hours. Dick was amazed at this incredible display of inefficiency, then suddenly remembered that this was Canada and that in this little country efficiency was not regarded highly as a national obsession.

Wanting to be alone with his thoughts Dick Fitswell found the most vacant car he could find. There was no one in it. For half an hour he rested, then woke up to a deep resonant voice. Crying out his name, the voice called out: "Dick Fitswell. You have been very selfish."

Dick Fitswell looked around the railroad car for a man or something inhuman the voice could be coming from. There was no one----nothing in the car with him. Just lots of empty seats. Then he heard it again: "Dick Fitswell. I am with you always. Do not look for my source for I am the light." Dick Fitswell found the goat skin of whiskey tied to his belt, pulled out its little plastic cork, then squeezed whiskey onto his palms, which he then splashed over his face hoping it would sting enough to make the voice go away. Then he heard it again.

"Give it up Dick. There is no one in this car but us. Now listen up."

"Are you God? Dick asked. "Because if you are, I’m one up on you."

"How do you figure that?" the voice asked.

"Because I get more pussy than you."

"That’s my whole point about your being selfish."

"Huh. I’m being selfish? I’m selfish? I’ve spread the joy of Fitswell wherever I’ve fucked. You call that selfish?"

"Dick. You are just a piker. You need to spread yourself around more. Haven’t you noticed something strange about your dick?"

"Yeah. It’s still too small."

"Dick," the voice continued. "Your dick has just grown from being nine and a half inches long to ten and a half in less than two days. That was a sign from me but you just didn’t catch on did you?"

"Catch on to what?"

"That your health and the length of your penis would depend upon how much you fucked and how many women you scored with."

"Give me a break. My penis is getting bigger because I am Dick Fitswell and no one gets the better of the ole Fitz, the world’s most perfect fuck."

"Dick. You are the world’s best fuck but only because I have given you the power and the penis."

"Alright. Give me another sign because I don’t fucking believe you."

"Dick. Look down upon thy penis."

Suddenly Dick Fitswell felt the most excruciating pain he had ever felt in his life. Polarina’s raping him and nearly tearing his dick off was nothing compared to what he felt now. Blood started bursting open the capillaries in his penis. He felt unbelievable pressure in his shaft as he watched his penis shrink. What was left was a two inch shard of skin and cartilage. He almost fainted from the surge of blood that had been meant for a twelve inch penis but which was now suddenly confined to a 2 inch underdeveloped shred of flesh. "

"Make it stop. I’ll do anything you want."

"Okay. I’ll give it back to you then but only for as long as you carry me with you."

His relief was instantaneous as he watched his penis grow back to its original size and the blood flow was no longer confined to its former surroundings. But it didn’t stop at ten and a half inches. Dick watched it grow to first twelve inches which was the longest it had ever been, to a full fourteen inches. He felt better than ever."

"Okay Ultra Being or whatever you want to be. From now on it’s just you and me," said Dick Fitswell meaning every word of it.

"Just call me Harry. Easier to remember that way."

"Alright-------what do you want me to do."

"Dick. I want you to spread yourself around more. Consider me the Father and you as my Son. You need to get around to more women. And you need to make yourself more famous."

"So who’s to be the Holy Ghost or Holy Spirit?"

"Your semen. Every time you blow your wad in a woman you will be injecting her with the Holy Spirit."

"You gotta be shitting me." Then thinking back on the pain he had just felt as he watched his penis being shrunk to two inches Dick exclaimed: "I take it back. But please explain yourself."

"Dick. You need to be more of a fantasy. You know you have achieved our destiny together when you have practically every woman in the world pining away for you in their dreams. You also need to impregnate more women. To put little Fitswell’s onto this earth."

"How will I know what to do? The task seems overwhelming."

"Let me guide you. Follow me and I will lead you to the light. I will visit you from time to time."

"When?"

"I have to get going."

"Don’t go just yet."

"I have to. Get out of Canada, Dick."

Suddenly the car seemed empty. Dick started to look around him but the car seemed more deserted than before. An eerie silence filled the air. Whatever had been there was gone. For the first time in his life Dick felt alone.